Lullaby
by rosalina2123
Summary: When J get's hurt during a job will his family be there for him when he needs them the most? I know the feeling Of finding yourself stuck out on the ledge And there ain't no healing From cuttin' yourself with the jagged edge I'm tellin' you that it's never that bad And take it from someone who's been where your at You're laid out on the floor and you're not sure You can take this
1. Chapter 1

Chapter one

The feeling of a cool hand carding through my hair causes me to take in a breath as I realize it's just Smurf and I relax a little bit. She's semi holding me,to keep me from moving,so the doctor can numb me up,to give me stitches. I don't want to be here,but need to be,I got stabbed on a job,I got lucky though,no damage internally,it ended up being superficial,went through skin and muscle,it still bled a hell of a lot,it's still bleeding sluggishly,I was with Baz and Darren,they called Smurf after it happened,and she told them to take me to this clinic where her friend works,which Is where I'm at now.. "Shh shh,it's alright baby,I'm here J,it's going to be a quick pinch alright"she murmurs as I see the needle,and turn my focus on her. I feel a quick pinch,but then it starts to burn,really burn,which hurts worse than the original wound. "God it hurts"I murmur wincing,"I know sweet boy,your doing good baby,just hang in there alright,it'll be over soon"she murmurs as I sense the doctor prod my side,and I can't feel anything. 

"Can you feel that J"she asks softly, "not at all"I murmur as I see the nurse hand her the needle and thread. Then the nurse comes over and sorta holds my legs down,so I don't kick out,then they get started. I don't feel any pain after this,more pressure than anything,and before I know it it's all said done,and they are putting some antibiotic cream on it,then they put on some gauze and tape it down. I hear Smurf ask her some questions at this point,as far as how to care for the wound,pain medication,and when to come back to get the stitches out,and then we're all done. They let me up,and I take in a steadying breath,to get myself ready for the painful part,getting my shirt on,and getting up,neither are going to be pleasant. I feel her place her hands on my shoulders softly, "let me do most of the work alright baby,I know it's going to hurt,but I'll try to be gentle"she murmurs as the nurse hands her my shirt,it's bloody and grimy,but it'll do until we get home. 

"Ok Smurf"I murmur as I let her pull the shirt over my head,mindful of the wound on my stomach as she pulls it down,then she helps me get up off the exam table,arm around my waist to steady me as I get my bearings. She get's the prescription from the doctor,for some kind of pain medication,I'm not sure what,then we head out as she thanks the doctor for taking time to take care of me. We get out to the waiting area and Darren and Baz are waiting. They get up and we go out to the truck,then they make the decision that Baz will drive us home,and Darren will take Smurf's truck,go fill my prescription at the 24 hour pharmacy,wait for it,then bring it back to the house,I'm too tired to wait to go home much longer. I let Baz help me into the truck,can't really do it myself,doctor doesn't want me to use my abs until I'm feeling stronger,and I get in the middle seat,then Smurf get's in beside me. Baz gets in the drivers side and we take off as she has me lay my head against her shoulder,running her fingers through my hair. 

I stay quiet,and they soon start talking,she's trying to get out of him what happened out there on the job. It all happened so fast,we got caught,sorta,I got caught,I was look out,saw the guy coming,he was going to bust them for grabbing the safe,texted them,but he caught me off guard,cut me with his knife,quick slice,enough to debilitate me,enough to make me fall to the ground. The rest is a blur until the doctors office,and Smurf arriving,I'm pretty sure I was in and out of consciousness. Before I know it we're home,we pull into the driveway,yellow light from the porch light penetrating the darkness. We get out,they help me,and we go inside to the main foyer. She sends Baz to go get me a pair of shorts and a t shirt,and she guides me to her room. "I'm going to have you stay with me tonight alright baby,so I can keep a close eye on you"she murmurs hugging me gently,placing a hand on my cheek,a rare private moment,that doesn't happen too often,that she reserves for her boys,which I'm one of her boys. "Alright"I murmur too tired to care at this point,and she helps me sit down on the chair at her vanity. 

I let her redress me,then she helps me get into bed,and makes sure I'm comfortable,then she's sits down beside me for a moment. "Try to get some sleep baby,I'll be back in a bit,I'm going to shut everything down downstairs,wait for Darren,he should be here any time now,when he get's here I'll give you the first dose of the medicine alright,I'm guessing the anesthetic is starting to wear off"she murmurs as she strokes my cheek softly,then cards a hand through my hair. "K,yeah I'm starting to feel a little discomfort"I murmur as she gets up and kisses me on the head, "OK,the medicine should be here soon sweet boy,love you"she murmurs softly as she pulls the sheets up over me,then gives me one final kiss,"I love you too"I murmur as she turns off the lamp. 

Then she leaves,leaving me alone for the first time tonight. It's been a hell of a night that's for sure,and I know she ain't happy,she hates it when any of her boys are hurt,I know she'll be getting on their cases later,she just didn't want to do It in front of me,which I don't blame her. It stills feels weird letting her take care of me,I'm so used to being on my own after all that stuff with my mom,I'm more used to it than I was the first time I got sick while I was here,that was hard,but it's still weird regardless. I close my eyes,exhausted from the nights events the last thoughts ebbing in my mind ones of the first time I got sick while I was first living here.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The feeling of a cool hand rubbing my back causes me to stir as I realize it's just Smurf,meaning the medicine is here,meaning she needs to wake me up to take it. "Shh,easy J,I just need you to wake up for a few minutes baby,so I can give you the medicine"she murmurs softly as I shift over to my back,and god it hurts so bad. "Ok,ow it hurts"I murmur wincing, "I know sweet boy,this medicine will help take care of this alright,deep breaths"she murmurs as I feel her card a hand through my hair as I take a few deep breaths and the pain eases up a little bit,till it's a dull throb. I let her help me sit up,against the pillows,then I see her pour the medicine into the medicine cup carefully measuring it,holding it up to the light to make sure it's the right amount. Once she's sure it is,I let her hold it up to my lips,and I take the medicine,grimacing at the taste,it tastes so nasty,it's cherry flavored,but still has the medicinal taste. "Good job,your all done now baby,I'll give you some water,and you can go back to sleep alright,it's late"she murmurs softly,grabbing the bottle of water sitting beside her on the bed.

I see her open it,then I let her hold it up to my mouth,and I take a few sips,taking it easy lest I get nauseous. I thankfully don't,and she puts it on the nightstand,and helps me lay down again. Then she pulls the sheet and bed spread back over me,kissing me on the forehead. "I'm going to put the medicine away,then I'll be back to bed alright"she murmurs softly, "Ok Smurf,what time is it"I murmur sleepily,medicine is kicking in. "It's about 2 baby,try to get some sleep ok,I'll be right back"she murmurs as I feel her squeeze my shoulder then she leaves. I fall back asleep,wake up when she gets in bed with me,lays on her side,and has me lay against her,rubbing my back softly,and I soon fall back asleep. I sleep the rest of the night,thankfully,the next time I wake up,it's late morning,9:00 according to the clock on the night stand,and she's already gotten up.

I lay there in bed,I'm hurting again a little bit,and don't have the energy to get up by myself,meaning I need to wait on her to come back up again. I manage to get on my other side though,and I grab the remote,so I can turn on the tv. I do so,and then get myself as comfortable as I'm going to get,then turn it on. I find something mindlessly to watch and before I know it the door open's and she's back. "Good morning baby,you been awake long"she asks me gently as she comes over to the bed and sits beside me,places a hand on my cheek. "Not very long,I'm starting to hurt again"I murmur, "I figured you might be,how about you have some breakfast,then I can give you medicine alright,then you can get bathed,I'll help you if that's ok"she murmurs softly,"Ok"I murmur.

Normally I'd be embarrassed about having her help me with a bath,but I know that she's been there done that,and that I don't have anything she's not seen before,so I'm ok with it,I know there's no way I could do it by myself anyways.I let her help me sit up,she places her hands under my arms,and with my help she get's me to the edge of the bed. I let her help me stand,it takes some work but we do it. Once I'm standing I'm ok, a little unsteady,but I once I get my bearings I'm ok. We go downstairs,and I realize it's just her and me,the guys are already out for the day,which is good,it means it'll be quiet,so I can get some must needed rest,get healed up. I let her guide me to the couch,and she get's the pillows settled,then I sit down with her help. Then she gently lifts my legs,puts them on the couch,and helps me sit up against the pillows. Once I'm comfortable,she hands me the remote,then she goes to the kitchen,to get the food. It's still weird to me being taken care of like this,when mom was alive,I would've had to get up,make my own breakfast,and keep going,no matter if I was ill or injured,one time I got injured,and was stuck sleeping in a car,too unsafe at home,and ended up in a hospital from it. I turn on the tv,find a cartoon to mindlessly watch,and within a few minutes she's back.

I sit up against the pillows,and she places the tray on my lap. It has a glass of orange juice,and a plate with eggs,and toast,things that will be easy on my stomach with this medication I'm taking. We learned last time I was on pain medicine,we have to watch it,I tend to get nauseous when I'm on them,paticularly hydrocodone,so it's easier if I'm not on heavy food,and eat a simple diet. But sometimes that doesn't work,and I still get sick to my stomach anyways. I eat slow,not sure about my stomach,but I'm able to keep it down,and I drink the juice. Then when I'm done,she comes over to me,places the tray on the table,and it's time for medicine. "Ok baby,It's time for medicine,I know you don't want to,but it'll help with the pain I promise"she murmurs,knowing very well I'm afraid of the nausea that might come with it,but I know we'll deal with it when and if it comes. She measures out the medicine into the cup,and then hands it to me,I down it in one shot,wanting to be done with it,then she takes it away.

"Good boy,I'm going to go put this away,then run you a bath sweet boy,just take it easy alright J"she murmurs kissing me on the forehead,then leaving the room. I roll onto my non injured side,and pull the blanket over myself,I'm cold. I continue to mindlessly watch the cartoon on tv,and before I know it I'm out again. The next thing I know,she's crouched down to my level,shaking my shoulder softly to wake me up. "J baby,the bath is ready,I'll help you get up alright"she murmurs softly, "Ok Smurf"I murmur. I let her help me up,and once I'm standing she wraps an arm around my waist to keep me steady. We go upstairs to the bathroom,and she closes the door,lest anyone comes home,to give me privacy. I let her sit me on the closed toilet seat lid,and she helps me undress,I try not to think about it,it's sorta uncomfortable,but I need the help. She takes me shirt off first,then she let's me handle my shorts,she let's me leave my boxers on to give me some semblance of privacy.

I let her help me get into the tub,the water is just the right temperature,not too hot,not too cold,and I lean back,relaxing in the warmth. I feel her reach down,and she takes the gauze off,it's been loosened by the water,making it easy to take off. Once she get's it off,it reveals,sore tender flesh,I can see where the stitches are,there are 10 stitches,running from under my breast bone,to my hip on my left side,he got me really good,the doctor said I was lucky that I wasn't gutted,that I didn't have damage internally. She throws it away,then she grabs a wash cloth,and starts to wash me down,careful around my wound,it makes me wince anyways. Then she finishes cleaning me up,and I know what come's next,we'll need to wash my hair,which is fine,it won't be entirely comfortable but I can do it. "I'm going to wash your hair now alright baby"she asks softly, "OK"I murmur. I let her help me get positioned,she has me bend my knees,and scooch down a little,then I lay my head back in the water. I close my eyes as I feel her put shampoo on,then she rinses it out,then does the same with the conditioner. Then she's done,and she helps me slowly get out,then hands me a towel to dry off. I dry off,then she hands me a pair of fresh boxers and shorts. She holds the towel in front me,to give me some privacy,and I get them on. "OK baby,how about we go down to the couch alright,then I can re bandage your wound alright"she asks softly taking my hand in hers. "Ok Smurf"I murmur as I see her get the first aid kit,then I let her guide me downstairs. We get to the living room,and she helps me lay down on my right side. Then she crouches down on my level,and grabs the antibiotic cream and gauze. I feel her rub antibiotic cream on my side,being gentle,then she places gauze on it,taping it down,and then she's done.

"All done sweet boy,I'm going to go put this stuff away and do dishes,I'll be right in the kitchen if you need me,try to get some rest alright,I know the bath took alot out of you baby"she murmurs softly kissing me on the cheek, "yeah it did"I murmur letting her pull the blanket over me,and I settle on my noninjured side. Before I know it I'm out,the last thoughts on my mind being of the time a few years ago where I was injured and alone,sleeping in a car,after mom went crazy,got high,and hit me and threw me out of the house.


End file.
